Kingdom Hearts field guide
by Soiku-grl
Summary: Here is a field guide that teaches you the basics about your favorite Kingdom Hears characters!
1. Sora

I'm back! I know I should be trying to complete "A shadow's love………"

Riku: But you have been WAY too lazy.

Be quiet! I just don't have any ideas so that story is now on Hiatus.

Cloud: Yay………

Cloud, keep your 24 year old mouth closed and Riku, do the disclaimer NOW!!!!

Riku: Fine, fine. This lazy authoress does not own Kingdom Hearts (mumbles: Thank Goodness)

You be quiet Riku!!!!

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Kingdom Hearts character study

Study report 1: #86759856784 (Sora)

Name- Sora (last name unknown)

Species group-_ hyperous kidus_

Age-15 human years

Location of Origin- Destiny Island

General Summary of species

_ The elusive Sora is a species who is always looking for some type of adventure. When faced with a dangerous situation, the Sora has a defense mechanism called a "Keyblade."_

General location and how to spot one

_ The Sora is usually found on the tiny island of Destiny. Spotting one is usually easy because of his bright clothing and hair that somehow defies the laws of gravity. You never usually find a Sora alone. He is usually found near the species called Kairi and Riku (These species will be explained later.)In some occasions, Sora's can be accompanied by a Yuffie, Tidus, Selphie, Wakka, Cloud, and/ or Leon. Some people have even reported Sora's near a Roxas and/or an Axel._

Approaching one and mating habits

_ Approaching a Sora is easy, considering you know how to approach one. This is probably why you paid $10.99 for this book: to learn how to approach a Sora and any other species that will be mentioned in this book._

_ Now approaching a Sora is sometimes a challenge in itself because Sora's are VERY shy creatures and will run away at the sight of an unfamiliar person. But if you have a sweet white grainy like substance A.K.A sugar near you or on you, the Sora will quickly run up to you and will want to become your friend (that is, if you give him the sugar………)_

_ A Sora's mating habits are very unique. Sora's can either be attracted to the Kairi species or to the Riku species (and we females know exactly why a Sora is attracted to a Riku_

_Well, there you have it. A detailed chapter that covered the basic aspects of a Sora species. Next chapter we cover the majestic (and also good looking) Riku._

* * *

I had fun writing this chapter!

Riku: I'm sure you did…………..

And I'm going to have even MORE fun writing the chapter about YOU Riku.

Riku: WHY DO THE GODS HATE ME SO!!!!!!!!

I think you know why Riku…………..

R&R!!!!


	2. Riku

Hi people!!!!

Riku: You seem extra happy today. Why?

I beat Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII!

Cloud: Isn't that the game you got last Friday?

Yep! I beat it in 3 days. That is a new record for me. This game also proved the point that I have very bad accuracy. Hey, did you know that Sephiroth was conceived by two scientists?

Cloud: Thanks for the haunting mental images……..

Your welcome! Now do the disclaimer.

Cloud: twilightprincessangel does not own Kingdom Hearts or Dirge of Cerberus.

A person can hope and dream, can't they?

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Kingdom Hearts character study

Study Report 2: #06759375478 (Riku)

Name- Riku (Last name unknown)

Species group-_ Riku_

Age: 16 human years

Location of Origin- Destiny Island

General summary of species

_The Riku is a very interesting species because of its unique nature. One moment it can be very calm and the next second it can be very ferocious and sometimes even deadly (just like us females when our monthly friend visits us!) _

General location and how to spot one

_Just like the Sora, the Riku can be found on the small island of Destiny. He is sometimes easy to spot because of his silver colored hair. Riku's are usually always found near a Sora. It is usually impossible to see a Riku alone. He is also found near people that a Sora is close to, and in a RARE occasion that only happens about .00000000001 of the time, he can be found near a dangerous and ugly looking creature called a Xehanort. _

Approaching one and mating habits

**(WARNING! Follow these steps carefully! Misreading these steps while trying to approach a Riku may cause injury and in rare cases death.)**

_Now, like the warning says, approaching a Riku the wrong way will cause you harm. That is why the cashier made you sign a pretty little piece of paper before you bought this book. That paper protects me from you guys suing me because you got hurt!_

_Anyways………_

_Now approaching a Riku is a very hard task for many reasons. To make sure you don't get hurt while doing it here are the steps and precautions you should take_

_Don't approach a Riku from the behind. This may cause him to attack you._

_If a Riku looks like he is in a bad mood, DON'T approach him. This is the time that he is the deadliest._

_If a Riku is around a Sora, NEVER approach him unless you gave the Sora sugar so he can trust you. Riku's are VERY protective of Sora's and will attack anything that scares or frightens a Sora. If the Sora trusts you then the Riku will also trust you._

_Riku's mate when they feel like it. When they do mate, they will probably go near the Sora and in rare occasions to the Kairi. __**(WARNING!! If you must video tape a Riku in the mating process, make sure you are not in his viewing range. If he does spot you, then I have only one thing to say to you: I hope you are a really fast runner because you will have to run REALLY fast to get away from him.)**_

_There, now you people are informed about the habits of Riku's. Next time, we will cover a close relative to the Sora, the Roxas._

* * *

Another chapter down!

Vaati: You're torturing more innocent souls? I pray that they come out with their sanity intact.

Shut up Vaati. I have to make this realization I found. In Dirge of Cerberus, after the credits roll, there is this girl named Shelke and the clothes she is wearing and her red hair make her look like Kairi.

Riku: interesting…….

Also Cloud is wearing the same clothes he wears in Kingdom Hearts 2.

Cloud: Wow…..

I know I was shocked when I first saw it. Plus Sephiroth is actually very unimportant in the game.

Sephiroth: WHAT!!!!

We only see a picture of you once in the game and then we never see you again in the game. Though your name appears a couple of times after that. Cloud has more game time than you.

Sephiroth: I can't believe it………

R&R!


	3. Roxas

I'm back people!

Riku: Uh………….Yay?

Yes, I know you feel like celebrating but there is no time for celebrating. Sora, do the disclaimer.

Sora: I don't want to………

Riku: THAT'S RIGHT SORA! DON'T LISTEN TO HER!

I think you should listen to me because……. I can do things to you in my stories. Now Sora, if you do the disclaimer……….. I'll give you a cookie!

Sora: Ok! Soiku-grl does not own Kingdom Hearts.

I own a copy of the game thought…….

* * *

Kingdom Hearts character study

Study Report 3: #00000000013 (Roxas)

Name- Roxas (No last name known)

Species group- _Orgus Memberus_

Age- 15 Nobody years

Location of Origin- Twilight Town

General summary of species

_The Roxas is a newly discovered creature that looks a lot like the Sora. Just like the Sora, the Roxas also uses the weapon called a "Keyblade"._

General location and how to spot one

_The Roxas is usually found in the town of Twilight. The Roxas is easy to spot: Just look for a creature that looks a lot like the Sora. Now you are probably thinking right now, "Wait, if the Roxas is exactly like the Sora, why did I pay $11.00 for this book?" Well, there are two things wrong with that last statement. One mistake is that you didn't pay $11.00 for this book; you paid $10.99 plus tax. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE!!!! Another mistake is that the Roxas and Sora are VERY different. Take their personality for example: The Sora has a, "I'm-too-innocent-for-my-own-good" personality, while the Roxas has a, "Don't-mess-with-me-or-else" personality._

Approaching one and mating habits

_Approaching a Roxas is easy, although I have one piece of advice for you: DON'T APPROACH ONE WHEN THEY ARE ANNOYED OR MAD! The Roxas is probably going through some sort of "Male PMS" period._

_The Roxas has a VERY unique mating habit. The Roxas usually mates with a creature named Axel (Got it memorized?) around 99.999999999 percent of the time. The other 0.000000001 percent of the time, it usually mates with a creature called Nanime._

_There you have it. Another successful chapter that covered the species Roxas. Next time, we will learn about the species formally known as Cloud._

* * *

So…….. What did you think? 

Sora: (eating cookie) Great!

Riku: It was ok……

Roxas: (Very mad) WHAT DO YOU MEAN "MALE PMS"!!!

Uh oh……….. Got to get away from this Roxas. See you soon!!!!!!!


	4. Cloud

Here is the next chapter of the Kingdom Hearts field guide!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, so let me weep in peace….

* * *

Kingdom Hearts character study

Study report 4: #58947307500 (Cloud)

Name- Cloud Strife

Species group-_ exous SOLDIERous_

Age- 24 (He's 24 people!) human years

Location of Origin- Hollow Bastion (It is come to my attention that the Cloud species did not originate in Hollow Bastion, but in a place called Midgar. However, for this sake, we are putting the location of origin as Hollow Bastion.)

General Summary of Species

_The Cloud is a species which is both strong and brave. The Cloud is usually looking for "his light," but some people report that this creature is sometimes looking for a certain someone. Who that person may be is still unknown to us._

General Location and how to spot one

_The Cloud can be found in the small town of Hollow Bastion, but some witnesses report seeing the Cloud in the Olympus Coliseum. The exact reason the Cloud was there was never released to the public._

_To spot one, you usually have to look for two things: Blue eyes that have a resemblance to the Sora and Roxas; and hair that stick up and seems to defy the laws of gravity and physics. You sometimes have to look for the people that the Cloud is associated with. Mostly though, you will normally find the Cloud near a species called Leon. But sometimes the Cloud is found near a tall creature called Sephiroth, but this is a rare sight. Few people have ever reported that they have seen a Cloud and Sephiroth together. (And believe me, we have good people that research this information before it goes into the field guide.)_

Approaching one and mating habits

_Approaching a Cloud may seem like a hard task but it is really very simple. You just have to take this into account when approaching him: Don't look like a threat. The Cloud was trained to attack anything that threatens his life or the life of another creature called Aerith._

_The Cloud's mating habits are mixed. Sometimes it will mate with Aerith, but sometimes, it will mate with one of these creatures: Leon, Zack (not much is known about this species, but it seems that he is associated with Cloud), or Sephiroth (That's right kiddies, Cloud may mate with the silent, and cold hearted Sephiroth!)_

_Here you go! A chapter covering our favorite spiky haired Chocobo head named Cloud. The next chapter will cover information about Sephiroth._

* * *

How did you like it people!?

Cloud: It was………informational……..

Glad you liked it!

Sephy: I shall use this information to my advantage……….

Uh oh! Sephy is going to use this information to get Cloud in bed with him………Cool!

R&R People!


End file.
